How Much is Enough?

How much is enough? Well, that's a tough question. Here is what my training schedule has looked like for the past month:

Monday: All Star Practice 2 hrs
Tuesday: Weights with trainer (we're working on core and upper body strength, not endurance weight training)
Wednesday: Scrimmage 2 hrs (mixed then all star)
Thursday: Weights with trainer
Friday: Lunch plyo/ Open Skate 2 hrs (casual 1 on 1 with coach for strategy, technique and form. I've been lucky enough to have some team mates and fellow friend skaters come work with me)
Saturday: All Star morning practice 2 hrs
Sunday: Rest (or I go on a long slow run, depending on how ancy I'm feeling. Most of the time I go for a run.)

The original plan was to get 2 days of rest in a week. I had my training schedule arranged to where that was actually happening for a while. Two-a-days on Monday's and Wednesdays allowed for me to rest on Thursdays and Fridays (before I was seeing a trainer), but now I'm down to 1 rest day (which I barely even use).

My trainer was proud to hear that I was smart about my rest days, but now that I look at it all (as I'm typing this out), I've been living a lie! I haven't taken 2 rest days in a week in a long time. So am I doing too much? I don't know. Sometimes I don't even feel like what I am doing is enough (physically, that is).

What about the mental rest though? I'm finding myself NOT wanting to go to practice or scrimmage more and more these days. Am I over doing it? Is it catching up to me? How do I know when to take the mental time off? It's hard to tell. Preparing for this big try out has preoccupied so much of my time (and life for that matter).

I've been making some great positive physical changes. I've cut alcohol out of my diet, I'm working hard to eat cleaner, and I've been very strict about my training. The mental aspect is where I'm struggling. It feels like motivation is slipping away.

So what do I do?

Seriously. What do I do?

"You've got to work hard to maintain success"

That quote has been with me for the past couple of years. I first heard it on this Michael Phelps Under Armour Commercial. I always knew what this meant for athletes like Michael Phelps, but I never knew what it meant for me. I guess I never really saw myself as super successful in derby. Don't get me wrong, I've celebrated many victories over the seasons, but never really thought of myself as "top notch"...until this season.

I started this season as a big fish in a small pond, but the other big fish in my pond is just as big. And she's just as incredible of a skater. When I came off my injury prior to the start of the season, I said to myself "this season is MINE! I'm going to show people what I'm capable of!" and I picked out the best skater in my league and made it my personal goal to beat her All Star try out scores. I trained my tail off. Dry land workouts, running, swimming, skating, physical therapy. I revamped my diet, and paid closer attention to nutrition and fuel. I read books about Michael Phelps, and Michael Jordan. I watched basketball, football, baseball, and roller derby. I studied the best athletes facial expressions, muscle tone and muscle memory, and how they handled stressful situations. I set out to be like them. Mentally and physically.

On the day of All Star try outs, I made sure to go up against my target. Every blocking drill, I made sure I was with her. When she hit me, I made sure my hit was more powerful. For the timed lap sprint, I made sure to be in perfect form and have perfect technique. For strategy, I knew I had the upper hand due to all the film I had studied. I left that try out feeling proud and confident.

The scores were released a few days after the try outs. Sitting in my cubicle at work, I hesitated to open the file for an hour. Finally, I took a deep breath and clicked on the download. At first I didn't read the document correctly and couldn't find ANY of my scores, and just saw hers. My heart sunk when I saw her scores up at the top. I thought "This can't be right," and looked again. Sure enough, right above her scores were mine. Turns out, I had accomplished my goal. I was the top All Star scorer! I beat her in over all scoring.

After try outs, I continued to work hard because I knew that things weren't going to get easier. Just because I reached one goal, doesn't mean there aren't better athletes in the world. I have to work hard to maintain my success, but I have to work that much harder to rise above my success.

Now that I have a new goal, and now that I see the level of athleticism going into these try outs, I have a long road of hard work ahead of me. It's very exciting. I feel very motivated and confident that I can achieve my goal. Even if it takes a lifetime, I'm going to reach it!

Team USA Try Outs are in 30 days. I've been training hard again. Lifting weights, doing plyometrics, running, and spending extra time on my skates. I've been studying film and photos with my coach, and trying to incorporate the new skills I've been learning in my game. It's been exciting. But there is still much more to be done.

Oh, and I've set up a fundraiser to help offset the costs of the try outs. Please share this link! Donate if you feel so inclined! I'm going to make sure my presence is known at Team USA try outs!

https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/1YWn1

A Day In The Life

I always really enjoy reading other skaters blogs and about their training. I also read other non derby people's blogs too. One of my favorite posts in the blogesphere (?) is actually probably one of the most simple and probably not very exciting. A recount of a full day in the life of Kathleen Shannon of Braid Creative.

Now, I realize this might totally be creeper of me, seeing as how I know Kathleen through various acquaintances, and I played derby with her in Oklahoma (for a season), but I never was really that close to her. Yet, I read her blog like it's going out of style! I love her style, her aesthetic, her goal busting go getter attitude, and her will to explore. But most of all, I love the fact that she remains so transparent with her audience. Hell, she even once made a blog post about periods! She was my main inspiration for starting a blog, although I'm not as diligent about updating and, well, let's just be honest, I'm not the greatest writer.

But this post. This hourly breakdown of her day. This peek into her, what I see as glamorous, but isn't always so glamorous life really made me want to read more posts like this. It reminded me of Harpers Bazaar's "A Day In the Life" (my favorite being the issue that featured Karl Lagerfeld). I started scouring my already favorite blogs for very similar posts (even exact), but to no avail, couldn't find anything. That's when it hit me! Maybe I should do a series on my blog featuring the daily schedules of others!

Reading these schedules and timelines and getting a better sense of people in their realities makes me feel excited to be alive! We get so stuck in our everyday ways that turn into very mundane activities and routines, but to others, these mundane routines are adventures in life! So where do I go from here? Well, I supposed I could document my day and in the mean time, I supposed I can reach out to some of my favorite people to see if I can feature them.

Who knows what will become of this, or even if I'll be diligent enough to keep up with this project. It's worth a shot though, right?

I'll leave you with this:

6:10 AM: push snooze
6:45 AM: push snooze again
7:01 AM: crawl out of bed long enough to call work to let them know I would be late, and then crawl back into bed because I'm just. not. motivated to go to work!
7:45 AM Finally! I get out of bed, throw on my work clothes, gather my workout gear and head out the door with my bike
8:15 AM log into my computer and then walk to the break room and make some oatmeal sweetened with applesauce (the stupidest breakfast ever), get some coffee, fill my water bottle, and head to a meeting room where I sit and discuss E-Discovery, Endpoint Protection, and Backup software for the next few hours
11:00 AM head down to the gym, put on my workout clothes (I'm very excited because I'm wearing a new sports bra!) put in my ear buds, and head outside. It's plyo day. I feel like puking, and I feel groggy
11:45 AM shower and walk to the cafeteria where I load up on salad greens, onions, tomatoes, roasted garlic, and balsamic vinegar and olive oil (because let's face it, I've been eating a lot of junk lately)
12:00 PM sit at my computer here at work, comment on some facebook statuses while I eat my salad and a can of tuna
12:45ish PM: Start on this post

Reasons I Cross Train

My mind always wanders when I am working out or doing some form of cross training. Sometimes it's distracting and I lose focus on what I'm doing, mis count reps, miss my intervals, or do too much. Today was different though, it made me run faster and harder, and it made my run seem much shorter. I think about all sorts of things; Insecurities, goals, family, friends, moving to exotic islands, moving to Minneapolis…you name it, it's probably crossed my mind. 

Today I was super focused on why I really cross train. Here's what I came up with:

I cross train because….

1. I have a responsibility to my body
2. I have a responsibility to my team
3. I have a responsibility to my juniors
4. I have a responsibility to the entire derby community
5. People believe in me
6. I believe in me
7. I haven't reached my limits, nor do I know what they are
8. I can run a hell of a lot faster, I just know it
9. Katarina Van Rotten ain't slowin' down anytime soon
10. Betty Bout it says I don't give myself enough credit
11. Bonnie Thunders was just recently named the LeBron James of roller derby, and I want that title
12. The outlandish and bold statements I make only make me work harder (gotta make sure I can back up what I'm saying)
13. When I make outlandish and bold statements, they make my goals real. They give me something to work toward
14. Wonder Dread is a crowd favorite, and I want to be a crowd favorite too
15. Champs is creepin' up, and it's the most important bout of my derby career TO DATE (yeah, I said it…)
16. My old team is winning, and winning like a boss. I want to win too
17. Gotham trains together, I hope to inspire my team to follow suit
18. Katarina Van Rotten is seriously NOT slowing down
19. ...Neither is Betty Aim Fire
20. I want to teach others how to self motivate and cross train
21. Discipline 
22. Discipline is an important life skill
23. I'm coming for you
24. the juniors are coming for US
25. Coach is in the yard telling me to work harder and "cut in CUT IN!"
26. I know my body can be stronger
27. Lean muscle is mean muscle (wow, that sure sounds beef cakey)
28. People ask me what my hobbies are, and I can't think of any other than cross training and roller derby
29. I can't afford another injury (mentally or physically)
30. I love to be outside
31. Eventually I'm going to try out for Team USA
32. Seriously, Katarina Van Rotten isn't slowing down
33. Katarina Van Rotten isn't slowing down
34. Katarina Van Rotten isn't slowing down
35. Katarina Van Rotten isn't slowing down
36. Katarina Van Rotten WILL NOT slow down…

There are a hell of a lot more reasons, but the one that kept playing over and over in my head was about Katarina Van Rotten not slowing down. She's your quintessential athlete. Natural born killer. Focused and determined and looking fucking amazing while she's doing work. She is getting stronger each and every day. Every time she steps foot on that track I know I have to work twice as hard as she does just to be on the same derby level. I'm convinced she's capable of anything. Katarina Van Rotten is not slowing down. She is not backing down. She is not speaking out in practice and she is not letting any distractions in. She is strong and confident and as kind as the day is long. Katarina Van Rotten is not slowing down, which means I cannot slow down either...

Restless Rest Day

Today was initially supposed to be a run day, but I swapped today's run for tomorrow's rest day (so that tomorrow I would run and today I would rest). This was a great idea for the first few hours after I got off work. It allowed me to get a good solid nap in. But once I woke up, I was grumpy and restless. I asked Cory if he would go on a skate with me, but he was too busy watching basketball. I sat and watched with him for a bit…but couldn't sit still. I really struggle with the concept of relaxing. 

I decided to buck up and go on a night skate alone. And you know what? It was fun! Relaxing and meditative. I'm glad I did it. When I got home I did my 30 push ups and 60 sit ups. I also made my coworkers drop and do 10 pushups with me earlier today!

Now I'm tired, and am ready to dream of skating. I'll most likely skate to work tomorrow instead of ride…who knows.

follow up to last night's update

Felt like this was very fitting after my update from last night:)

Sweet Tooth

I think maybe my sweet tooth is getting a little out of hand. Hell my whole appetite is! But that's to be expected when you workout a lot. I'm all for maintaining my weight. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for eating food and and not falling into fad diet traps. But weeks like this? They really make me want to go back to my paleo days from last summer.

I've been dealing with getting an upset stomach and bloating from the things I mean hell, yesterdays doughnut, 5 slices of pizza, chocolate bar, and post scrimmage beers and fries with my team did me NO good. Tasty, but it certainly didn't help my mood and made me very sleepy today. I fall into these trends where when I eat dairy, or lots of carbs…I crave more (surprise). These are the days where I really start to recall the reasons why I went paleo (for the short stint).

It started with creepin' on an old acquaintances blog, Kathleen Shannon. I was fascinated with her aesthetic, her world travels, and her house! I started living vicariously through her posts about trekking Mount Everest and dreaming of having a cool and crisp style like hers. In fact, she inspired me to simplify my wardrobe and to embrace a good challenge. I was also jealous that she visited Vienna, the motherland (my Dad is Austrian)!  Then she started posting about doing a Whole30 paleo detox.  I thought she was crazy. I mean, this woman is toothpick tiny. This woman has perfect bone structure and a waist that I sure as hell will never see on myself. After following her paleo journey for a while, I realized that she wasn't doing it for weight loss. She did it to be healthier. She did it to be happier. That's when I jumped on the paleo bandwagon. I didn't do a Whole30 detox, I just cut out anything that wasn't paleo. The paleo diet really changed my mood. I was happier, brighter, not as sluggish. I felt like I was getting more out of my workouts and my bloating? Non existent! I felt hydrated and whole. I just felt all around healthy. You can read about Kathleen's paleo diet and her Whole30 on her blog, Jeremy & Kathleen.

So why did I stop paleo? Well, there are a number of reasons. After I completed my first 6 week running plan (6 weeks to 5k, the same plan I'm working on again right now), I kind of lost sight of my goals. My goals seemed to be scattered and abundant. I wanted to swim 1000 yards in a certain amount of time, I wanted to run a 10K, I wanted to do a new ZWOW every single day. All this on top of derby. So I started training for all sorts of stuff with no clear guidelines or focus I got discouraged. The weather started getting colder, my diet wasn't changing. I was eating everything paleo that I would eat during the summer, but I started feeling sick. I was dropping weight rapidly and feeling dizzy. In hindsight, I realize I wasn't eating seasonally or eating the proper portions for an athlete. With all this stuff going on, I started going out more and partying more…and well…one thing leads to another and I pretty much spiraled out of control (by my standards).

My derby wife, Betty Bout It was very helpful during this time though. She started talking to me about the importance of eating carbs and even taught me how to cook vegan meals. I started feeling happy and healthy again. I was eating HEALTHY carbs, and eating plenty of vegetables and not as much meat. Fast forward to now. This week has been the extreme. All junk food. I can't stop. All cheese and fried stuff and beer and soda and candy. I just can't put it down. It's got me thinking a lot though. The weather is getting nicer, I'm now a bike and bus commuter (due to trying to sell my car in an attempt to be car free…a whole other blog update!) And, well, I think I'm at a that point in my running plan where I can go back to MOSTLY paleo. I'm not ready to give up certain beans and grains yet. I am ready for more veggies, more fruits, more healthy fats and proteins. And Dammit, I want a steak!

So with that said, Friday is pay day and I plan on putting together a mostly paleo menu and doing some paleo grocery shopping. Sunday I will be marathon cooking and freezing meals for the week. I think this will be very helpful since I'm on such a tight schedule.  I feel confident about this idea and can't wait to really grab my nutrition by the balls.

Last Night's workout
Was supposed to be a rest day, but I scrimmaged, rode my bike 12.6 miles, did 60 crunches and 30 push ups.

Tonights  workout
2 scrimmages
60 crunches and 30 pushups
and by the end of it all I will have riden 12.6 miles today.

On tonight's menu? Vegi shishkabobs with Acorn squash, zucchini, black olives, onion, tomato, and maybe some brown rice or quinoa.


AND *sorry for the long update* I think I'll start taking more photos to add to my blog:) Not enough pictures happening these days.

Backlog

Meant to post this last night but I was SO BEAT.

Yesterday's workout:

20 min interval run (2 min run 2 min walk) on hill

60 crunches
35 pushups

7 Miles of bike riding

I also skated with my juniors from 6-7:30 and then my furious sisters from 7:30-10. Great practice. My legs are jello.

Tonight is scrimmage. It's supposed to be a rest day for me...*sigh* such is life.

Practicing the Art of Chillism

I think people are mistaking my wanting to be alone and zen for being depressed. I'm not. I'm not depressed. I'm just TIRED. I just want to chill! Today I practiced the art of chillism. I rearranged my living room a little, cooked a delicious breakfast (or…brunch for that matter) and washed some bed sheets. It felt great. Tonight I'm going to cook something delicious, enjoy a glass of pinot, and watch Ghost Busters (or something of that nature). It feels good to just relax.

I also did a boxing workout! It was super fun! I followed this video on youtube: 

Beginner Boxing Workout

It consisted of 8 rounds of 20 second uppercut tabatas (10 seconds rest in between each set), 3 sets of 20 burbees on the minute, 3 rounds of combo punching sets, and one 4 min simulation round followed by 100 bicycle crunches, 60 regular crunches, and 30 push ups. 

I want to learn the punching combos. They were hard (especially since I don't really quite have the grasp on what a proper uppercut looks like). I like what he says at the end about sparring, and how 3 times a week isn't enough when you're competing. This holds true for any sport that you're competing in. 3 times a week isn't good for derby. I can do better. I need to stay sharp on my derby skills too. I can easily do this at home too if I just take at least 30 minutes on the days I don't have practice to fine tune my skills. 

I think more boxing workouts are in order though. This one was fun and challenging! 

As far as my food intake today, I did pretty well (for the most part). I have a sweet tooth so fighting against chocolate and soda is really hard. But for breakfast I had 2 scrambled eggs with spinach, onion, tomato and peppers with 3 pieces of bacon and an orange. For lunch I had a smoothie with two handfuls of spinach, 1 banana, 1 kiwi, and a handful of frozen blueberries and a couple tbsp of coconut milk, and then I went a little off on the deep end and ate half a toblerone and had a glass of soda. I still have dinner though. I think I'm going to look up a carrot soup recipe. Last night I had chili lime miso glazed collard greens and beets with chili lime miso glazed sockeye salmon. DELISH.

Today I feel good. I feel strong and positive. I feel relaxed and happy. I hope I can keep the feeling up tomorrow...

Trying to get back on the horse

Well, my intension was to post more frequently about my preparation for Wild West Showdown, but that didn't happen. I'm not even going to write much of a recap either. We lost against Jet and Sac but beat Slaughterhouse. The Jet and Sac bouts were extremely fun to play. I got ejected right before the half in the Jet bout though. I was a little bummed. Okay, really bummed. It was for a hit gone wrong (totally hit the jammer straight in the face with my shoulder…hard. It stopped game play.) I felt awful… *sigh*

My endurance is definitely not where I want it to be at all (the above photo is certainly me out of breath), and I've been awful to my body. I didn't really do any partying at Wild West Showdown, because we were there for business. Ever since we got back, though, it's been a different story. Work events, meetings, more work events. Booze just flows like water at these things and let me tell you, my will power isn't very strong.

I would like to take a more active interest in my health. I need to. I can't handle the emotional hangovers (or physical ones for that matter). I can't handle not feeling strong and confident, and I certainly cannot be running around like a wild banschee all over the damn place. It's just not cool.

In order to grab my health by the horns, I've decided to shift my priorities around a bit.

I was in the best shape of my life when I was focused on my 6 week 5k running plan (over the summer). I'm going back to that. I started today. I'm hoping to use this blog to help keep myself on track by posting my workouts and runs. Nutrition will follow, but I've got to focus on one thing at a time right now.

Today I went on a 5 mile leisure bike ride. It felt good to soak in the sun. After that I walked my dogs and then I completed day 1 of the running plan:

2 minutes walk, 1 min run for 20 minutes (I did mine on a small hill)

After that I did 60 crunches and 30 push ups. I read somewhere that one of my derby fitness idols does 60 crunches and 30 push ups a day. I'm going to give that a shot. It doesn't take very long.

I feel good about how active I was today, but I would like to feel better. I have a problem of comparing my body to others and not feeling good enough. I don't feel lean enough, healthy enough, or yes, even some cases "hot" enough. I feel like a chubby kid sometimes. It's strange because I didn't really start to have these emotions until this season really. I can think of a few things that have influenced this but I'm not ready to share them yet. This brings me to my other priority:

Loving myself.

It's really hard to learn to love yourself. I thought I loved myself, but with all these body image issues, I guess I don't love myself as much as I thought. Especially when I go out and wear out my body by drinking or eating things that I shouldn't. I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, but god damn it's hard to turn down a Makers neat.

I'm going to learn to love myself and feel confident. It's going to be very difficult but I'm hoping that writing about this stuff will help me. I don't have a counselor, I don't really want to run to my friends about it, and well…I don't feel like I have a major problem. I can control this myself. I know I can. I'm strong.

Derby and life…what a journey. Every journey has it's ups and downs.

I must have been thinking a lot about this stuff during game play because even my game face looks a little contemplative:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/masonite-burn/8542785413/in/set-72157632960453072

Getting Closer!

My intent was to update this blog every other day or so to document my training journey to Wild West Showdown 2013. FAIL! Epic fail. Oh well.

The past weeks have been very challenging in my training. Not necessarily physically challenging, more so mentally. It's not a problem going to work out. It's not a problem putting on the running shoes. It's not a problem attending practice. It IS a problem finding the will power to not have a beer (or two or three or…you get the picture) when out with friends. It IS a problem convincing myself to not compare my body to others. It IS a problem to just. be. me.

I picked a real good time to change my life! Ha!

So here are the pros of my training so far:

1. I've been riding my bike an incredible amount. Pretty much everywhere I go. Why? Because we're selling the car. We're joining the ranks of bike commuters and public transit users. We're reducing our carbon foot print. We're going to save and INCREDIBLE amount of money in gas and repairs and insurance. I'm very excited. 
2. I've been running about 3 times a week on my old summer running trail. The weather has been incredible and 3.5 miles has been a challenge. Especially since there are hills. Not like super steep hills, but the kinds of hills that last forever. It feels good to breathe in the fresh air. 
3. I've been attending yoga classes (not regularly though) and ab tabatas at work. 
4. I've been eating fairly healthy, drinking plenty of water, and drinking carrot ginger juice about 3 times a week (I'm not sure why, I just like it). I've started eating carbs and grains again, and surprisingly enough haven't gained or lost weight but seem to be gaining a little more muscle tone. It's nice.

As far as the cons go: 

1. We're losing precious track time. Our venue keeps canceling our practices. It's making me crazy. There were only two practices last week that I could attend. I don't like this time off skates because it's effecting my endurance (even though I'm doing all the cross training).
2. I've been having major anxiety. I'm not sure what is triggering it, but it's there, and it sucks. It happens at random times. 
3. No matter what I do, I still can't NOT have a drink when I'm in a social setting. I really would like to quit drinking completely, but am not sure how to go about doing this. Every time I think about this I think "maybe I'm being too strict" and then I have an existential crisis with it. Why do I need alcohol and when did it become such a social lubricant for me? It's silly, really. I just want to be able to go out with people and hold a conversation without having a drink.

Oh, and I did reach my ultimate goal…I made all 3 rosters for Wild West. That's right. All 3. I'm very proud and excited to represent my team. Now if I can just pull my head game together.

Wild West Countdown

In 25 days my team, The SkATesAphreNics, will hit the track at the Wild West Showdown tournament in Washington. This will be my third Wild West Showdown tournament to skate in. The first year, I got the pleasure of skating against Pikes Peak (beating them 152-129). That was my third bout ever as an Emerald City All Star. The next year I was battling a knee injury, and only played one bout against Fort Collins (another win, 184-64). This was also one of the last bouts I played for a while due to learning that I had a torn patellafemoral ligament in my right knee. This year, I'm hoping to play ALL THREE BOUTS! I'm turning up the heat this month because I want nothing more than to play these bouts. It's important to me that I play every single bout this season. I need to prove to my team that derby IS my world, and that I AM a valuable asset. This year, we're slated to go up against Slaughterhouse from CO, Sac City from CA, and Jet City from WA. I've played against Sac and Jet, but not Slaughterhouse. I don't know what to expect from them, as I don't take bouts lightly.

To prepare, I've put together a little challenge for my team. Something to get us mentally and physically in the game. Starting on Feb 8, I've challenged my team to complete a task every day up until the tournament. I put out the guidelines for the team, and have already started to think about the first challenge.

The first challenge is to come up with 3 goals to accomplish at Wild West Showdown. I don't want these goals to be generic. I have some ideas for goals, and even have my first goal. "I want to get my jammer through" or "I want to block like a jammer and jam like a blocker" are not good goals (in my opinion). They're very generic and don't really address specific aspects of my personal game. These goals might be good for someone just starting out in derby, but I've been playing for 6 years! I'm still a youngun in this sport, but I've got enough experience under my belt to really start fine tuning my game.

So what's my first goal? Well, it has to do with aggression. I WILL hit with smart aggression. This encompasses so much in my game. It involves lower body placement, no hesitation, no whiffing. It involves using the angles of the track and staying out of "the bowels" (as coach says). It involves a strong core and strong quads. It involves relentless mental aggression. It involves wearing the other team out.

I've already started to work on this goal. I've been finding myself tapping into my aggression in a few jams. I need it to last an entire bout! I know I can accomplish this. I watch skaters on top level teams hit with such control and deliver bone shattering blows. Even a few of my own team mates finangle themselves in the oppositions tight wedges and start delivering one hit after another. Yesterday I watched my teammate Rocka Rolla do this exactly! It was so beautiful to watch. She's so relentless. Even my team mate Jalapeno blocks beautifully. She gets so low and sneaks up on people.

Hell just look at how low Sassy gets! One woman wall...

So here's to hard work and tapping in to that aggression! It's going to be a great training month!